Why Millennial Mark Zuckerberg takes paternity leave


Mark Zuckerberg recently announced that he will be taking a few months off to take care of his soon to be born baby girl. For Millennial parents, parental leave is a logical desicion. So why does the rest of the world react so surprised? 

by Amélie Rombauts, picture ©Facebook

“This is a very personal decision, and I've decided to take 2 months of paternity leave when our daughter arrives. Studies show that when working parents take time to be with their newborns, outcomes are better for the children and families. At Facebook we offer our US employees up to 4 months of paid maternity or paternity leave which they can take throughout the year. Every day things are getting a little more real for us, and we're excited to start this next stage in our lives.”  Mark Zuckerberg wrote in a Facebook post 

Up untill now, childcare is a women thing (in a heterosexual relationship, that is). One of the critical factors for this situation is the existing inequality between maternity and paternity leave. In most European countries, mothers can stay at home with their newborn much longer than dads. Belgian mothers, for example, can take up four months of maternity leave, while dads have to get back to work after ten days. From the cradle on, we all learn that women are the main care takers. And we all know how hard it is to erase that kind of perceptions later in life.

During the interviews we did for our book about Millenial parenting (which will hit the stores in february 2016), we noticed a strong mentality shift. Millennial Moms don’t want to efface themselves - like previous generations did - and Millennial Dad’s are no longer satisfied with the expectation they should only bring home the bacon. Child care and household chores are losing their gender. For Millennial parents they are matter of teamwork. The parent who's has time, does what needs to be done.

Parental leave or no, today, we see more young stay-at-home dads, fathers who give a twist to their career to combine work and family and fathers who continue to work long days, but who catch up whenever they can. According to a 2013 VUB research on the time-spent of Belgians, working Millennial fathers take up to 45% of the child caring responsibilities during the weekend, compared to 36% in 1999. 

Will Millennial parents be the generation that will turn child care and gender roles into gender neutral matters? Maybe, if society picks up their lead. If our laws, institutions, media, advertising and marketing get the change that Mark Zuckerberg and his generation are advocating. 

As Flemish author Catherine Ongenae wrote earlier this year in her book #seksisme. Neen, wij overdrijven niet (Dutch only). “Gender equality can only become a reality if we accept, organize and make it possible as a two-way concern. More and more men indicate that they would like to care for their children, but by doing so they clash with the same prejudices and obstacles as women do when moving themselves into traditionally male fields of play. Men who take parental leave, for example, are questioned about their commitment to their job, their masculinity,… they miss promotions."

It’s a very societal affair, but it’s therefore also a personal one. Because society and institutions are made entirely out of people. That means, out of me and you. What’s your reaction going to be when your collegue, your boss, your brother our your son announces his four months paternity leave? 

This blog was published earlier on Medium

Amélie Rombauts and Filip Lemaitre write regularly about Millennial parenting on this blog, as they have been researching and writing a book on this subject. Gen Y takes a whole different tack on parenting, so they need to be adressed in a whole new way. Want to know how, we're one click away.