Framilies: We're parents. So what?

by Amélie

Last week, we blogged about the end of cloud nine. Parents dare like never before to admit that parenting is not as blissful as advertising campaigns want to make us believe. Moreover, research in the US last summer even showed that people are most unhappy when they become parents, even more unhappy than when they get divorced, become unemployed or lose their partner. Ouch. The perfect parent is becoming a puttering one. And although that might sound liberating to many, we hear the first voices of a backlash.

During our research for our upcoming book on GEN Y PARENT(S), which will hit the stores in the spring of 2016, we met parents who are in between the idealistic perfect parent versus the dramatically puttering one. Moms and dads with a realistic view on parenting.
“Nowadays, parenting is presented worse than it really is. All that crying, all that misery, so much whining ... I would be afraid to even think about kids, if I haven’t any. While I'm sure that if you would ask parents if they would still have children with the knowledge they have today, the majority would answer 'yes'!", says An, a married mom of a three-year-old daughter and a baby son.

Knowing that, we should no longer speak of cloud nine or a pink cloud, neither of a big storm, but rather a light gray cloud with a pink shade. Or vice versa. Instead of having high expectations about starting a family, these realists embrace their parenthood with all its good and bad moments. A state-of-mind that makes them less frustrated. Everything is kind of ok, really. They dare to let go, to shrug their shoulders, and feel at ease with the situation they’re in. To raise perfect children is not their primary goal. And being perceived as perfect parents neither. Not being able to pick up their children when the school bell rings, doesn’t make them bad parents. Recovering from a hangover by watching Netflix’s Puss in Boots episodes over and over with the kids, wearing pyjama’s all day, either. It’s ok to sin once in a while. And it’s also ok to complain, but preferably not too much. Comedian Jim Gaffigan puts it this way: "Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmark of a sane parent.” 

Let us help you on this one with one simple hashtag: #averageparentproblems . Self-reflection guaranteed.

all pics ©mommyshorts.com @averageparentproblems